I am who I am. I had accepted the burden of my weaknesses and assumed I was unchangeable! I came to this decision slowly, after many attempts at changing and failing. I began to accept that:
I am always late.
I wait until the last minute.
I am not a finisher.
I don’t make a list or plan.
I am not nice.
As I would share these failures with others, I would explain; “That is who I am, I am sorry for those I hurt for my behaviors. But no one is perfect.”
I accepted myself and expected others to accept me for me. Overtime, I wrote these characteristics with a positive slant.
I am just a little late.
I can do anything with a deadline
I am a starter, love new ideas.
I go with the flow, can adjust.
I can tell people hard things.
I realized that was a nice way of saying, “This is who I am, live with it!” Not only did I say it to myself, but I believed it!
A few months ago, I had the desire to be a better person. I truly didn’t anticipate a full change, but I believed I could do less of the bad trait. I started with being late. There were times I was on time or early. Then I would be late. When I was late, I would think, ’I can’t change.’
I then reminded myself that my goal was to do less of my bad trait, not change totally. I decided to track it. The first week I was 5 on time and 5 late. The following week I was sitting at an event I arrived late for and once again beating myself up for always being late! Then I remembered I am tracking this. I looked at my planner for that week, I was on time 4 times and late once! Wow, just a moment ago, I was ready to quit trying to change. I was only focusing on the negative and not even seeing the positive changes, because I wasn’t perfect.
Seriously, the true reason I had accepted my negative characteristics was because I would never allow myself to fail as I changed.
I am excited to look ahead and re-write these characteristics. I am glad I didn’t just accept it!